Kingston is officially 3 months old today! Where, oh where has the time gone? I look back at pictures of when he was first born and just want to cry. Not that I'm not enjoying seeing him grow, but it's too fast for this mama! Things are going so-so right now. Depending on the day I'm asked will determine my response. On happy, not-so-fussy days I'll gloat on his smiles, babbles and coos he gives me and talk about all the wonderful other things he does and enjoys. On days like I've had this week? You might find me banging my head against the wall when questioned because of his colic. I read a hysterical article from a blogger friend recently about colic, appropriately titled "I Fought the Colic, and the Colic Won." Here is an excerpt from it (and here is the blog if you want to learn about colic and have a good laugh: http://bigtopfamily.com/cirque-du-today-clowns-and-colic-dont-mix/):
"I had read about colic in my obligatory What to Expect When You’re Expecting book, and I’d listened to friends’ third-party stories about it in that detached, Urban Legend kind of way. In the way you cock your head and condescendingly listen to stories about a Loch Ness Monster or Sasquatch sighting. In a That Sounds Terrifying but I Don’t Really Think it Exists and Do You Also Believe in Ghosts, Because If You Do, Take Your Evil Spirits and Get Your Cuckoo Ass Away from Me Before I Have Nightmares kind of way. Yeah see, in my ultimate pre-parental wisdom, I thought that “colic” was just another word for The Mom is Doing Something Wrong. I know, I was an idiot. I found out the hard way, karma-style, that colic is a very real and very terrifying phenomenon."
To say the least, colic is NO JOKE!! It is very real and very hard to handle at times. Just when I think his colic is gone, it rears its ugly head, and just when I didn't think Kingston couldn't possibly scream any louder, he introduces us to a whole other octave that will make Banjo howl and Kazoo sit, wide-eyed, shaking to death. Wednesday night was so bad, Banjo had another one of his "episodes," which I'll get into later, and was headed toward a seizure. Fortunately a couple teaspoons of corn syrup prevented us from another emergency visit to the vet. Getting back to the colic, I always feel like something is wrong, while Lee has chalked it up to normal baby behavior. I refuse to believe this is normal, despite a lactation consultant telling me about the "period of PURPLE crying." In a nutshell, it's a period that can start from 2 weeks up to 3-4 months, where your baby will just cry, inconsolably at times, and there's not a damn thing you can do. Not that I don't believe that is an issue with some babies, but I can tell the difference in Kingston's cries now and know when I hear a painful cry. I know when he needs to burp or pass gas (he has separate cries for each), and though he may have hours of crying, once he is able to release the gas he feels better.
Wednesday night was another inconsolable 6 hour crying spell that was on and off again all day long yesterday (starting at 7am!). I KNEW it was gas. It was an ear-piercing, painful cry. The kind of cry that I worry my neighbors will hear and think we are doing something to our kid (no joke! I would even wonder the same if I heard it coming from a neighbor's house). Despite my best efforts, I couldn't comfort him that night. He screamed louder when I tried to do bicycle kicks on his back or rub his back while laying on his tummy. Even his old trusty bouncy ball was not cutting in. The only thing that provided short moments of relief (and quiet) was carrying him around on his tummy in the position I call the "Superman pose." His cry eventually turned into a hunger cry and he settled down after nursing and slept pretty well that night. Yesterday morning my happy little ray of sunshine left pretty quickly and the ear-piercing screams started again. I finally gave him a bath, which helped calm him and he was able to get a good amount of burps and toots out, while laying against me. I had to constantly keep moving and changing positions with him yesterday to keep him comfortable with only short breaks here and there.
We have had several days in a row that were good, and just when we think his colic has stopped, it starts again. Apparently colic just stops abruptly around 3 months, sometimes 4. It's so hard for me to think one day it will exit as quickly as it started, but I also didn't think colic could be this bad. I started him on a probiotic last week on top of his daily Zantac for acid reflux with gripe water +/- gas x when needed. I worry these stomach issues will be a lifelong problem, but his pediatrician reassured me these are all problems babies typically grow out of. I had no clue how difficult their digestive system starts out as! I feel like his is worse than others. People have asked "was that him?" when he burps or toots and the whole room stopped and looked at me the other morning at the new mom support group I go to after he took a couple massive dumps! His doctor, who I really like and trust, mentioned awhile ago about a possible milk protein allergy. It's gotten to the point where I think I need to explore the possibility, and unfortunately the only way to tell is an elimination diet. I'm supposed to eliminate diary and soy also since most babies that have the milk allergy are allergic to soy as well. I didn't think it would be that hard, but I also didn't realize how much dairy I consume. I depressingly walked around the grocery store a couple weeks back and read the labels on my go-to foods. I was shocked to see how many foods contain milk, but especially soy! And if it doesn't contain milk, it contains a derivative of it. It's the milk protein he may be allergic to, not lactose, so I can't have lactose-free foods. I actually started the diet a couple weeks ago, but only did it for two days before I stopped thinking I should just wait it out to see if his colic resolves on its own. In those two days, I actually lost a couple pounds and never quite felt full. This is going to be a challenge, but I'm willing to do just about anything if it helps. I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is to see your little one cry, and despite your best efforts, at times there is simply nothing you can do.
Other than the colic (which as you can see consumes my life right now given the four paragraph rant), Kingston is doing well. He is growing and gaining weight appropriately, even though he looks very chunky, and his personality is really showing. He has so many cute rolls and he loves to flail his arms and legs about randomly. He gets a serious face when I ask him to dance and seems to concentrate while stomping his feet. He's also starting to babble a lot more and I enjoy our conversations immensely! It's been almost a month since he started to smile at me because of recognition, and I really look forward those smiles and laughs. He has the sweetest smile and often follows it with bringing his neck to his collarbone in sort of a bashful way.
Our trusty soothing items when he is fussy have been bouncing him on an exercise ball or placing him in a swing. Often that, or a ride in the stroller or car are the only things that will get him to nap. He has a floor activity gym that is under-the-sea themed, and he absolutely loves looking up at the star that lights up and plays music. Speaking of lights, he loves them too and ceiling fans as well! Since he was born, he has loved music, so I sing to him often. I have a couple of "good morning" songs I sing to him every morning, and even made up a song about him working on a poop (I think it helps him). Hey, when you're around a baby 24/7 you do these sort of things! He has always been very alert and is a very curious little guy. I enjoy reading to him and sometimes he really gets into it. I've also noticed recently he stares at the TV (probably the movement of people on it), so I bought a DVD set of Baby Einstein videos. I figured if he's going to watch TV, and we know that time is coming, than I'd rather have him watch something educational. His big enough now that I'm able to prop him up on his nursing pillow and will sometimes do that while cuddling up to him for a nap. I have to say they are the best naps I have ever taken! I think he likes it too because he smiles a lot when we wake up. He can hold himself up pretty well when I prop him up against pillows and the day is coming soon where he will fully be able to support his head.
My maternity leave has flown by and starting Monday, I only have three weeks left. I expect to cry my first day back when I have to leave Kingston, but I did not expect for it to start now. I have been feeling so down recently just thinking about it and am even tearing up writing this. I checked out a daycare this week, which he will attend for two days a week, and they were very sweet, especially when I started to tear up while talking about Kingston. As much as I desperately need a break and am so tired, the thought of leaving him, especially with people I don't know, just crushes me. I feel like I'm going to miss seeing his milestones first. On the upside, I know they will work with him to help develop skills and socialize, probably more than I could. The ladies I met seem very nurturing, so I do feel comfortable and relieved to have found a place, even though it's crazy expensive!
I started going to a new mommy group about a month ago and it has been the best support group! A friend of mine, who also was in my medical assistant program and who had a baby in February, told me about it. I was hesitant to go at first because of Kingston's screaming (I really didn't leave the house with him except for doctor appointments and to walk around the neighborhood), but I figured what better place to be than a room full of women experiencing the same thing. There is also a lactation consultant that answers questions and it's great hearing other people's struggles. It not only answers some questions I have, but reassures me. I was supposed to go on a hike with a group of mamas of 2016 babies yesterday, but because of Kingston's screaming fits, decided to stay home. I'm glad I did, since yesterday was another full day of fussiness.
The first day I went to the support group, I came home feeling positive, only to find a very sick Banjo. Banjo has had "episodes" since he was probably 6 weeks old, which I talked about in a previous blog. To refresh, he basically gets "dumpy" as the vet describes it, and when you go to pet him he flinches away from you. He basically exhibits signs of ingesting marijuana according to the vet, though each time I have insisted he hadn't. Last fall they finally checked his blood sugar after I asked if that could be the cause and it was 40 (normal is 80-100). When I walked in the door that day, I saw Banjo on the couch and instantly knew something was wrong. He was the worst I had ever seen him, and again when I tried to pet him he flinched. I called the vet and scheduled an appointment for that afternoon and tried to feed him to no avail. I decided to leave him alone so he could rest and just as I started feeding Kingston he had a seizure. I freaked out! Can I just mention how much I hate seizures. I mean, despise them! My mind always goes back to seeing Lynch's seizures during the last few days of his life. Everyone of our dogs now has had seizures, and it breaks my heart. I called Lee, panicked and unsure what to do. For a second I froze and didn't know how I was going to juggle getting Banjo to the vet with Kingston. I pulled Kingston off from feeding, put him in the car seat, crying, called the vet and brought him in for an emergency visit. Thank goodness they are only a few blocks away. They took his blood sugar, which was 70, and reminded me anything below 80 could result in a seizure. I still can't believe he acted normal that day, back when his blood sugar was 40!
Anyway, he spent the day at the vet, and when we picked him up that evening he still looked awful. Lee carried him into the house and put him on the couch where he didn't move for a few hours. Finally we called the vet and asked when he was going to snap out of it. They advised us to give him a teaspoon of corn syrup and if he doesn't respond within 20 minutes to bring him back in. The emergency doctor there (this was after hours at this point), thought he had Addison's disease, which I believe is an imbalance of potassium and electrolytes if I remember correctly, and he told me he could possibly die if he isn't given fluids. I asked if we should go to another emergency vet, since there is no doctor on site at our vet between midnight and 7am, but decided to take him back to our vet and have him hooked up to IV fluids. The receptionist reassured Lee when he dropped him off that the doctor on call that night won't leave if he is really worried about an animal. The next day Banjo was significantly better, though still a little weird. Oddly enough, Kazoo used to have "episodes" as well that were different from Banjo's. They consist of her drooling and foaming a little at the mouth and stares at you for about twenty minutes, and then snaps out of it. She hasn't had an episode in over a year and the day we brought Banjo back she had one. Maybe she had a sympathy seizure? Fortunately hers are very mild.
We now know we can't put off a visit with a specialist any longer, so Banjo has an appointment to see an internal medicine doctor on Tuesday. Our vet thought there was a good chance he had Addison's disease, so he did a special test there about a week ago, which unfortunately came back negative. Us and his vet were hoping it would be positive since it would give us an answer, and it is treatable. When I scheduled the appointment for Tuesday, I told the receptionist our vet thinks he may have liver shunts or an insulinoma, and she said they will probably recommend an ultrasound which runs $500-$700! We've already spent $1300 and he may have to have surgery depending on the diagnosis. Thank goodness for pet insurance, though they only pay a portion and it takes about 6 weeks to be reimbursed. I often think back to the beagles we had growing up, who were outside dogs. They would get there rabies vaccination, but otherwise never went to the vet for anything and lived for many, many years without any health problems. It seems like the more domesticated the dog is, the more increased risk for health problems.
Wish us luck with Banjo and pray it isn't anything too serious. I just want him to live a long healthy life. I really thought we were going to lose him a few weeks back. He actually had another episode on Wednesday night. After six hours of Kingston screaming bloody murder, the stress was too much for him. We gave him a teaspoon of corn syrup and tried to get him to eat, which he refused. He perked up a little with the first teaspoon of corn syrup, so we gave him another teaspoon and he again perked up even more. He was no longer flinching, but was lethargic. He slept that night and cuddled up to his Grammy at her house the next morning for a long nap and was fine afterwards. Oh the joys of owning a pet!
I will try my best to update more, but the easiest and fastest way to see pictures is through Facebook. I'm looking into apps now where I can load more pictures and videos so I'm not overwhelming people with so many posts about Kingston.
XOXO,
Chelle
