Journey for Baby Stewart: April 2016

Kingston made his grand entrance into the world on Friday, April 1st 2016 at 12:39pm by cesarean. He was 7.5lb, 19 3/4" and is perfect in every way!

It all began that prior Tuesday at my regular doctor's appointment. I was being monitored very closely for cholestasis (pregnancy jaundice), which meant appointments every 2-3 days either at my OB office or at the hospital doing blood work and non-stress tests. I stopped by and visited a couple co-workers the day before my OB appointment and had commented to them that I was ready for him to be born. I had been off for a week and maternity leave wasn't going the way I had envisioned it. The edema in my feet had doubled and had gone up my legs all the way to my calves. Compression socks didn't do anything and I couldn't be on my feet because of the pain the swelling caused. I had no idea that the following day would be "The Day!"

My doctor had told me the week before my blood test was still in the normal range for cholestasis, but on the high end and after consulting with one of the specialist from Stanford I had seen previously, they decided if it went up one point then they would induce. I had blood work done the day before and because they had to send it off for testing I figured it wouldn't be back by then. As soon as the appointment started she looked in my medical file and saw the results were back, then said non-chalantly "Okay, so the results are back and yes, they show you went up to a 10 so we're going to induce." My liver function tests were increasing as well. I responded with a bit of shock and after learning the induction would be that day I went into panic mode. When she saw my tears she said "I thought that's what you wanted, I thought you were ready?" I told her I was, but was just very overwhelmed. She calmed me down, called the hospital to schedule and went over the plan with me.

I texted Mom while still at the appointment to give her a heads up and she very quickly left work, booked a plane ticket, packed and boarded a plane all within 2 hours! I went home and finished last minute chores around the house, took a shower and made sure everything was in my hospital bag. Lee met me at home a few short hours later, then we headed to dinner, then to the hospital for a 6pm check-in. I was kind of happy it happened this way because I knew in ample time for myself and for Mom to get here and didn't have to worry about knowing when I was in actual labor, if it would be at night, in rush hour, etc. I had been having a ton of contractions the week before and a couple of times had wondered if I was in labor. The contractions I was having were so frequent and lasted so long and were not the textbook type I had read about, but were becoming very intense.

The check-in process took about two hours and I was induced around 8pm that night with Cervadil, which is a tampon they insert impregnated with a medicine to help me dilate. The several days of labor I went through are a bit of a blur to me at this point, but from what I can remember things were going pretty well up until two hours before they took the Cervadil out. My contractions were happening the way they had been prior to induction, coming every 30 seconds and lasting around 3 minutes, but very intense! They finally took the Cervadil out after 12 hours, but I continued with extremely intense contractions for a couple hours after the removal. They had talked about putting a Foley bulb in which would mechanically make me dilate, but I was only 50% effaced and not dilated so they wouldn't be able to insert it. The next step was Pitocin, which was given intravenously. As I remember it was the same as Cervadil, which was manageable at the beginning, but the intense contractions eventually came and I was just not getting any breaks. Every vaginal exam they did showed zero change too. That night they presented me with the choice of continuing Pitocin or taking a break and letting my body rest which may help me respond better. After the final exam showed again no change, I opted for a night's rest. I got about 4 hours of sleep, which seemed like 8, and was up and ready to restart the next morning with a positive attitude. I continued with contractions throughout the night, but again they were manageable. That morning a midwife told me the contractions were going to be painful and I was just going to have to labor through them. I felt like a wimp. Was this what labor is like and I can't handle it? They restarted the Pitocin and everything was going well until again, I was over-responding to the medication, so they reduced the amount I was getting.

It was Thursday at this point and I had tried everything from showering, walking and rocking on a labor ball. All of these had benefits in the beginning, but were not helping at that point. That night I asked for nitrous oxide, which gave me a bit of relief, but like everything else, it only helped at first. Once I found myself constantly sucking on it without any breaks I asked for Fentanyl. The nurse that night told me I should really hold off on Fentanyl until it's absolutely needed because I can't have nitrous again within two hours of it. A few minutes later, after monitoring my contractions and seeing my pain, she said "you know, maybe you should try Fentanyl." Fentanyl was great at first, but it too got to a point where the pain was becoming unbearable. "Why wasn't anything working? Why was I over-responding to induction methods?" I wondered. I felt I couldn't handle labor the way other women did.

The nurse called the doctor to see what she recommended and was in my room when the doctor called back. She was glad she called back before her shift ended, because she wanted her to know how things were really going the night she watched over me. The doctor and midwife came in around 8-9pm that night, sat down and talked to me about my options. The doctor just happened to be the first doctor I went to at the OB practice. She was very sweet, but very overwhelming with her discussion on all types of twins and risks associated for my first appointment, which I believe I discussed in my blog. I felt comfortable that she was the doctor on call that night though and as she told me, she was on call for 48 hours so either way she would be delivering my baby. She talked about trying to get the Foley bulb in if she was able to and very gently mentioned cesarean since I was going on three days of labor. She said "I just have to put it out there" to which I replied that I had already prepared myself for anything prior to birth and felt it was going to end with a cesarean. I felt disappointed in myself, that I wasn't strong enough, but the nurse for that night, Sarah, had done quite a bit of counseling me and explaining that I had been strong and had tried every option, but for some reason they weren't working for me. I really appreciated her care that night, as I did one other nurse, Janie, who mostly cared for me. Dr. L suggested she try the Foley bulb first and after telling me how well it could work, I felt better and agreed. I wasn't ,however, prepared at all for the pain from the insertion of the bulb. I have to imagine that's probably what it feels like to push a baby out without an epidural... it was excruciating! She did get it in and I felt a huge sigh of relief; relief that it was over and things would really start happening. The rest of that night and the next morning went the same with contractions and by 7am I was about to lose my mind. I had been told several times throughout my time in the hospital that my contractions would even out and I would get a 2-3 minute break in between, but that wasn't the case. "If this is labor" I thought, "then screw this!" I don't see how women can go through that time and time again.

When Dr. L came back that morning I told her I couldn't do it anymore and wanted a c-section. She was going to remove the catheter anyway and recommended another vaginal exam because said I could be very close to 10cm; "stranger things have happened." Her exam showed I had dilated a mere 2 cm! I wanted to scream! She continued her exam though and found something strange. She explained to me Kingston's head had somehow moved passed my cervix and was pushing it up preventing me from dilating. "I've never seen that before" she said. I guess that explains why everyone had a hard time finding my cervix during exams. This whole time I thought my little stinker was being stubborn and not wanting to come out, when in fact, he did want to come out, but was a little stuck. I am glad everything ended the way it did though. The c-section was by far the easiest thing I went through, and the cord was loosely wrapped around his neck, which would've been very dangerous had I had a vaginal birth. The doctor also said my placenta was separating and may have been risky if I had waited another week for my actual due date.

They offered me an injection so I wouldn't remember the procedure after the cesarean, and I honestly don't understand how anyone accepts it. The medical team worked very quickly and hearing his cry for the first time and seeing Lee cry is a moment I never, ever want to forget. They asked if Lee wanted to see him so he went around to the table where they cleaned him off and weighed him. I couldn't believe how big of a boy he was when they called out his measurements. The moment Lee carried him over and put him next to me takes my breath away every time I think about it. I can't even write this without crying. I hadn't really had an image in my head of what he would look like, but when I saw him and looked into those big eyes, I couldn't get over how beautiful he was. He was no longer crying, just looking at me, face to face.

I was able to hang out with him for most of the repair, then they took him into the recovery room while they finished up with me. Once I got back to recovery, they put him on me, skin to skin, and he latched on to my breast right away. It was another beautiful, surreal, very natural moment that I'm so glad I got to experience.

The first day was a bit rocky for me, but I have gone from being too scared to hold him, not knowing how to pick him up, afraid to change his diaper and frustrated with learning to breast feed to being almost a natural in one week. I still have a ways to go, especially with the diapers, but I'm getting there and I told him "we're learning together." I asked for an early discharge since I was getting zero sleep and everything the nurses were doing I could do at home. I'm still not getting much sleep, but some nights aren't so bad. I am trying my best to nap when he naps, but that is difficult sometimes.

He lost a good bit of weight after birth, but fortunately gained it back pretty quickly and now weighs 8lb 9oz. Every test they've done have checked out well and he's a very healthy baby. He's also a very happy and alert baby! Despite his screams when he wants "boob time," as I call it, he's pretty good at settling down. Knock on wood though; we've been warned this could change!

I can't stop looking at him, kissing him, talk to him, etc. He really is perfect and I still can't believe my dream came true. My miracle is here!

XOXO,
Chelle